Saturday, January 28, 2017

The Wellness Adventure Continues!

Here we are:  the next 10 pages of the wellness quest. These are days of highs and lows, stopping and starting, on track and off. Over the Christmas period it was difficult to stay focused, easy to let things slide. These ups and downs, stops and starts are a normal part of a process of change. Strength comes and goes. Attention wanders. Sometimes it seems easier to live with less than good health than to push the river enough to make it better. But by the end of the first month, I feel that new patterns are emerging and changes are gradually being implemented.

Day 11

These are homemade shortbread biscuits given to me by a friend. So many words and phrases of self talk go with eating. As they came up, I stamped them in.

One of those inexplicably heavy, melancholy days. Even though they are low and gloomy, they are not without interest. I like to get to know these feelings, give them names, differentiate one from another. Befriend them, even.

It wasn't my intention to sit out in the backyard in the dark drawing my washing. But when I saw the clothes and the Jacaranda in the cool light of the moon - it was just irresistible.

There were a bunch of days when I did no recording or drawing at all. They seemed to pass very quickly and I was shocked that I had almost forgotten that I was doing this. How easy it is to be side-tracked, distracted, turned astray? But here I am, back again. Not as regularly as before, but still going on, keeping going.

Yeah, this was a really hot day.

More stopping and starting, on track, off track, on track again. Wandering off track - how much harder it is to get back on track than to stay on track in the first place. Why am I making this harder than it needs to be?
So here I am, taking myself to task, setting the ground rules again clearly.

Simple food, coffee and water - a picnic by the river on Christmas afternoon. What you see here is mostly leftovers. Eat first, draw later.

I can't believe some of the conversations I have with myself. I have such a talent for persuading myself that what I feel like doing is better than what I know I ought to do. What's laughable is that I'm the one who decided what I ought to do and fully support it - or at least one of me does....The others are kicking and screaming and weaselling around trying to convince me that I agree with them and giving me such excellent reasons! No wonder my head hurts. It's full of my very own personal demons.

Knitting is very therapeutic for me. Especially knitting small things that can be finished quickly. I get bored knitting only one colour, so most of the things I make have stripes. My favourite part is going through all my yarn and patterns and then casting on. And changing colours. I like that too. Also chatting and knitting with friends is really nice. So yes, knitting is good for me.

One of the things that is contributing to my growing sense of wellbeing is having a vision of wonderful accomplishments in the not too distant future and mapping out the steps to accomplishing them. I've been doing a lot of planning. Then implementing and adapting the planning in the light of the implementing. I've filled up most of a bullet journal just this year. Next post, or maybe the one after, I'll show you my colour-based planning and review system. It's the colours that keep me going back to it. If I forget, remind me!
Till next time.



  1. Just fascinating. I pushed up the screen resolution to read everything. I see the ups and downs of everyday life here--not even necessarily related to a health and wellness plan. It is a huge project, consciously trying to change oneself, yet we are ever-changing whether or not we know it. In the heat of summer I think it is a pretty enormous undertaking.

    Here is a poem that I have kept for years. (I have a little bundle of poems from the New Yorker. I used to clip out the ones that 'spoke' to me--this was before the quality of the magazine dropped considerably.) :


    I'd been off by myself trying to evolve
    It had to be done
    in the dark
    under tight security
    I chose this northern lake
    the auroras at night turning like lucid scarves
    the afternoons of lime-green snow

    I recall the taste of fish eggs
    on rice cakes in sub-zero weather
    the smell of cold fur
    firelight and slow frost
    given the run of the cabin
    like animals
    and the wolves
    who were starving in their deep twilights

    Once I saw
    the blooming of nebulae
    radiant colours
    the sudden coherence like a sun
    haze burning off
    then a star cluster
    a pinwheel of dust
    six billion miles from rim to rim

    And that was all
    Though the mind was willing
    the spirit thinned
    out like breath in a blizzard
    By the time they found me I was a changed man

    ~ George Amabile

    Although it is more illustrative of my part of the world these days than your area, I like the feeling of change that it evokes. Alterations do seem to be gradual and not easily perceived most of the time, don't they?

    I love the knitting entry...I just got out my basket the other day, with 10" of a sweater done 2 years ago. Really, I'm just a beginner!

    Carry on--will be watching with interest!

  2. Thanks so much for this thoughtful response and the poem! These changes are subtle, and fascinating!